My Story of this Past Year

Father finally today has released me to start writing again. I thought that time had come about a month ago, but it just wasn't meant to be. He had so much that He wanted to teach me still so that I could share about it and give Him the glory!!

Revelation 12:11 says "They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony...". In The Message it reads "They defeated Him through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness...". As I was asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to me what it was I should write about today, He impressed upon me that it was time to start BOLDLY witnessing as to the greatness of my God, my Father, and what He has done over the past year (more like 14 months!). The enemy is defeated!

I look back to April, when Ken called me from work and said that God had told him to give his two week notice at his corporate job with a decent salary and insurance. We had already been walking through a big reality check as to the condition of both of our hearts and Father had already started the process of knitting us both back together. So when I went to question whether he was sure that he heard that, it was strongly impressed upon me to not ask, as the Holy Spirit showed to me Ken was hearing from God. The next week, Ken calls a friend to see if he's hiring. Matt told Ken that he had prayed that day about someone to hire (he owns a landscaping company) and had said Ken's name came to mind three times but Matt thought that was just crazy, because after all, Ken already had a good job!! "Matt, I'm not working!", Ken told him. So from April through November of 2010, my red-headed, fair skinned, non-lover of heat, allergy-ridden husband worked in the dirt for a landscaping and irrigation company. It humbled me so much to see his obedience and DESIRE for the things of God! He laid down his pride and humbly received the provision that Father gave us.

During that time, Ken and I also had attended Quest and Heart Quest (which I make mention of earlier in this blog). Ken went in May, I went in August. These events radically changed the way that we viewed God AND ourselves! We both realized that we were loved by a FATHER, not just a god. We were participants in a two way RELATIONSHIP, not a religion. Ken learned he is a WARRIOR and son. I learned that I am His PRINCESS and daughter! Oh the depth of love He has for us! And if you are reading this and have never heard this, let this day be a day that you realize that He SEES you, KNOWS your heart, and LOVES you deeply!! He wants to come in and heal those wounds and lavish you with adoration! I would recommend to anyone who has ever experienced pain or dissappointment in their life (that would be ALL of us) to look into this for themselves. (By the way, their website is http://www.fellowshipofthesword.com/).

While Ken was on his Quest, I had been impressed that at some point that we were probably going to be moving at some point to Texas. Crazy! I'm just thinking that because Ken's down there now. GO HOME AND WRITE THESE WORDS IN YOUR JOURNAL TO SHARE WITH KEN WHEN HE GETS HOME. And so I did. When Ken arrived back, we laid both girls down for a nap the day after he was back and he was sharing the things that God had shown him that week. After he had shared all he could or felt lead to, I read to him what I had written. Overcome with emotion, he said that he believed that God had shown him that same thing, although he didn't believe it was Him either. I am SO GLAD I obeyed and wrote that down, as God used that as confirmation! Who knew when it would happen though.....

As that summer came to a close and we began into the fall months, our trust in our Father was tested. October brought the uncertainty of whether or not we would be able to pay rent. We had even begun the conversation of the possibility of staying with Ken's sister who lived in Arkansas if worse came to worse. We experienced nothing short of a miracle that month, as checks just started showing up in the mail. All told that month, we had received enough to cover our rent AND car payment! He provided for us exactly what we needed. I think the biggest impact to me was when someone out of state that I still to this day don't know sent us $500 CASH in the mail!! Who sends that kind of money in the mail?? Someone who obeys and trusts their God, that's who!!

November. Finances were starting to get tight, and one thing Ken and I had learned to do during this process was to keep asking Father what the next thing was. Step by step, one foot in front of the other. We knew that our lease would be complete the end of December, but it would require a 30 day notice to vacate without any kind of penalty. Ken and I were stirred in our hearts to seek after what He wanted for us to do; we fasted and prayed and sought after God for what that was. One evening sitting on the couch we got quiet at the feet of our Father together and once again asked Him and Ken and I both were impressed with the word MOVE. We had our answer: it was time to fill out the paperwork and give our notice to vacate. But we didn't know where we were going.

As we prayed and prayed and sought after where God wanted us to go, nothing was materializing. It was starting to get a little scary! All I knew to do was to start gathering boxes to pack and prepare to move SOMEWHERE! That next step of obedience was hard as I would carefully wrap and place my belongings into boxes with my stomach flip flopping the whole time as the unknown loomed ahead. Ken and I talked frequently about what possibilities were out there and the only possibility that remained was what had come up in October...moving to Arkansas. So Ken called his sister and the conversation started as to the prospect of our family of four moving in with them for the interim while we waited on what God had for us next!

We loaded up the truck the day before New Year's Eve and with Ken driving the Uhaul, me driving our car, began our journey to Bella Vista, Arkansas. That was the beginning of a rough spell for us as even that day, Ken was experiencing the stomach flu and I had to get him anti-nausea medication just so that he could make the 3 hour drive! We arrived to their home later in the evening and unpacked the necessities we needed there with us, the rest went into storage. We stayed at their home until the end of March. That was not an easy season for us; literally it was winter, and it's not easy being in someone else's home with two busy little girls in the middle of winter when it snowed a TON and we could not get out! Ken struggled to find a job (and additionally, was feeling uneasy about looking for a job in northwest Arkansas), and to help with getting the bills paid that we did have in the meantime, he ended up getting a part time job at Chick Fil A. We had many struggles during that time....the biggest of all feeling hopeless and trying to walk through that time on our own!! For the first 1 1/2 months Ken and I both walked through such darkness; Ken admittedly going into "fix it" mode to get a job that would at least support us enough to move into a cheap apartment or something, me falling into depression and despair, worrying about how my children were being affected as well. I remember laying in bed at night, crying and sensing such a heaviness in the air, such resistance against me. I felt so defeated, and we both felt like we had somewhere made a terrible mistake.

Thankfully during this time I was also keeping in touch with my new sisters from my Heart Quest back in August. They were quite literally a support system for me as I opened up my heart, sharing my fears, doubts, utter frustruations and worries. I remember one of the ladies who staffed my HQ, Olivia Chaney, speaking into me a reminder and opening to my eyes to the spiritual battle that I was in the middle of! Through her prompting, I realized it was time to hit my knees.

Drawing my spiritual sword, I entered into the battle. I cried out to God for my family, my husband, for forgiveness for not trusting Him, for protection of the hearts of my daughters, for Him to show us the next thing!! That next thing came in the form of one of my sweet Heart Quest sisters, Pam, emailing me words of encouragement, and additionally telling me "come on down to Texas, we have three empty bedrooms upstairs!" I know that she'll probably laugh as she reads this, but initially our reaction was "oh, that's such a sweet offer", and didn't really think much of it after that! We went home to Kansas City mid-March for a much-needed visit as it was Hannah's birthday and it gave us an opportunity to visit our family and a few friends. I remember talking to a few of our close friends that we trust dearly and telling them about our journey, telling them about our offer to come to Texas. One friend, Eric, came right out and said it: "And why WOULDN'T you want to go to Texas?" As in, everything had already been pointing in that direction up until now, so why not pull the trigger on something that God had been imprinting on our hearts for almost a year now?

Ken and I were very quiet and contemplative on our drive back to Arkansas. Leaving Kansas City was different this time. One thing that Ken had asked Father when we went back home was for Him to bring a feeling of release for us; that when we left our hearts wouldn't feel QUITE so tied to that place. Not only did we feel released, but I had such a peace on our drive back to Arkansas. I knew that God had finally confirmed and brought full-circle what I had written in my journal that previous year: we were moving to Texas.

So the next several weeks were spent setting the wheels in motion. Ken spent a lot of his time talking to and emailing Pam's husband, Mickey, who had a lot of great contacts and leads for Ken as far as jobs. Ken had been put in touch with a gentleman named Jerry who was able to throw out several names of companies in the area in and around Temple, TX. One company was Dell, and I remember specifically about a week before we were to load up to move to Texas Ken applied on Dell's website. Usually on a company website (and a company THAT large) you don't expect to hear anything, or they don't get back to you for several weeks. Ken got a call from the hiring manager THAT DAY. He basically had a phone interview, and when it was all said and done Ken was looking at the possibility of moving forward with more interviews once we got moved down to Temple.

It seemed like a whole new season was beginning (and I can't remember, I may have written about this then). What God showed to me was that the different seasons we had walked through that entire year were, for us, lining up exactly with the ACTUAL seasons of the year. And what was even more awesome was that the new season we were walking into correlated to the fact that we were heading into SPRING! A season for NEWNESS!! A season for RENEWAL!! My heart lept with joy as I realized that this was a turning point where once again, God showed us the next thing, we listened, and now He gets to bring revelation as to why He's told us to do what He had asked us to! So much had I clung to the scripture from Isaiah 40:31 that says "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." He had fulfilled His promise to me! He had carried me and was continuing to carry me! He is my strength!

I will say that the drive down to Texas was a bit long and tedious. But at the same time God provided! Before we even left we had the challenge of one of our vehicles not starting; right before this however, someone that we know and love dearly had driven through Arkansas and told us that God had told them that they were to GIVE us their vehicle! That's the kind of thing that I've only ever HEARD about happening to someone else, not to me! Through their obedience, we now had another WORKING vehicle to be able to drive the girls and I in while Ken drove the Uhaul which towed our dead car. Working our way down through Arkansas into Oklahoma and even the first part of Texas really wasn't too bad of a drive (if you don't count the rough Oklahoma highways!!). We stayed with some very special friends of ours in Paris, TX overnight to catch our breath and then we continued our journey the next day. Driving through the Dallas area, with a very full uhaul attached to a heavy car and lots and LOTS of traffic is not an easy thing, but God helped us through it!

When we pulled into Pam and Mickey's driveway we were immediately made to feel at home. Pam was gone at a women's retreat but Mickey showed us around and told us that we were their family and would treat us as such! The next day, a group of guys (who, unfortunately for me had wives that were gone to the same retreat) went and unpacked our belongings once again into a storage unit. They were done in under 20 minutes!!! Ken told me that when they were finished, they gathered around Ken to pray with Mickey mentioning "this is the closest thing to a home that they have right now, so let's pray".


I continued doing school with Hannah each day as Ken took our laptop downstairs to their dining room table to hunt for jobs. Each day he would search and search and would find possibilities and send out resumes. He finally received the call from Dell that we had been waiting on...his first in-person interview. And not just with one person, but with FOUR. I called out to Father on his behalf that this interview would go well and that he would be able to answer the questions without feeling intimidated or made to feel less than adequate. I know that one interviewer did stump him some...but this made Ken question whether or not this job would come to fruition. I on the other hand, as I prayed about it was coming to believe more and more that this was the job God had for Ken. And wouldn't ya know it, he got called back in for a SECOND interview! This time with more of the peers/people he would be working with. Once again, Ken wasn't sure but I just had "that feeling" in my gut that told me this was the one! Sure enough, God fulfilled what He had been showing me; Ken received a phone call the next week that they wanted to hire him. One concern he did have was not being sure exactly how much to ask for in terms of salary (we didn't have much of a frame of reference for the cost of housing and everything down here). We were cautiously optimistic about that initial offer, but what would really seal the deal is how much they would offer him. He got a call from the HR department that afternoon and God just showed off this time, with them offering Ken $6,000 more per year than what he had even asked for!!! So, he accepted it! It was so cool to see all that come to pass with what I believe the Holy Spirit had shown me, and to now know that I had INDEED heard from Him!!

Obviously the next thing was looking for a home. Initially, we were hoping for something down in the Georgetown area but each time we looked we came up short; the cost of rent was just too high for us. We checked Round Rock, but we really just didn't like the 'vibe' down there (that's the same town where Dell is). Pam had run across an ad for a home to rent here in Temple, and even though 'we' thought we needed to be closer to Ken's work, when we pulled up to this house Ken and I just looked at each other with the look that said "I think this is it". The price was right, it was in a nice neighborhood, there was so much space (something I deeply wanted for visits from grandmas and grandpas!), Ken would be able to have an office space (he'll be working about 4 days out of the week from home before too long) and I get a school room area for homeschooling the girls!! God met the desires of my heart and then some in this house!!!

So....that was a long post huh? I have so much more to share about and I know that Father has so much more that He wants me to talk about to give glory to His name! It's just amazing for me to look back at my journal from May of 2010 that wondered if God was calling us to Texas. Clearly, He was. Now we're stepping into the next season of our life, asking God "what's next" and listening for His voice, and finding out the purpose for which we have been placed here. What a good Father we have!! He does fulfill His promises, and He DOES desire us to walk in an INTIMATE relationship with Him because He has so much to teach us and show us! Had it not been for this past year, I would not know as much about His character as I was able to learn from walking with Him!! And He truly desires our heart; He wants all of it, He sees what hurts it, He knows our heart's deepest desires. He's even taken care of that part of our hearts that longs for relationships with other brothers and sisters who love Him as much as we do!! We have a new extension of our family through Pam and Mickey, and God has immersed us in a community of friends and believers that know how to do REAL LIFE together. That's the kind of stuff you can't manufacture!

The next time God shows you what the "next thing" is for you to do, go forward with a heart of obedience and DO IT!!! You never know where you might find yourself in a year!!! :-)